Titos Vodka + Cranberry + Lime + Ginger Beer + Bitters

An effervescent, light and refreshing drink that will help you temporarily forget all about the unending pain of your everyday, hellscape of an existence.

Yoo-hoo chocolate drink + Don Q puerto rican rum, frozen

An exquisitely delicious beverage for anyone with the refined pallet of an alcoholic 6 year old.

Its a margarita. You know whats in a goddamn margarita. Why the fuck are you even reading this?

Vodka + Coffee + Espresso + Kahula + Baileys

I know for a fact you arent getting a cheaper one of these anywhere else in this stupid fucking city.

Rum + Triple Sec + Aimono Orgeat Syrup + Lime

When you just wanna be at a beach but are like 4 hours away from the closest one, this is pretty much your only option.

Its a bottle of champagne. What else do you wanna know? It comes with some free cups I guess?

A well shot of liquor + a can of PBR

The perfect combo for the person who is living paycheck to paycheck and should certainly not be at a bar spending the little money they have left, but who will anyway because they need to forget about the 12 hour shift they have to work tomorrow, in which their labor will no doubt help facilitate their trust-fund bosses 4th vacation house.

I was gonna name this something funny so it wasnt so boring but then I thought about the amount of people who call up the club asking “is this Outer HAVEN?” all the fucking time and realized that if people can’t even READ the name of the bar itself, whats the point of trying to be clever with naming stuff. The american education system is truly in shambles.

Jameson + Peach + Lemon

Are you basic af? Are your parents republican trash? Is Drake your favorite rapper? Then you already know what this is. And if you’re offended by that, then good, stop being fucking boring and burn your parents house down.

Blueberry Vodka + Curacao + Lemon + Simple Syrup

Id like to think this was named after Pac Man, but Im sure its much more boring than that cause “mixologists” are the most boring people on the face of the earth.

Crown + Malibu + Peach + Red Bull

I grew up in Las Vegas and can assure you it is the worst place on the face of the earth.

Tequila + Watermelon Schnapps + Lime Juice + Tabasco

A la mierda toda esta gente blanca.

Yerba Mate + Whiskey (no, seriously I swear to god its delicious)

The perfect shot for when your friend’s coke dealer didn’t come thru but you still wanna be wired enough to stay up til 7am talking about stupid shit that no one will remember the next day.